Welcome to Hope for Grieving Mothers

If you are new to this club (that no one asked to join- the one where your child has died), it is best to start by going to the BOTTOM RIGHT and look at the "Pages" section. Under this section you will find resources for mothers who are grieving the loss of their child. Resources to help your children deal with grief are also grouped together.

Next, feel free to look at the "Blog Archives." There are many topics that you may have an interest in reading. As you girlies know, we now have Teflon brains and often cannot have the focus power that we have had in the past. Feel free to come here often and hopefully you will FEEL the loving support that me and other mamas are sending. Hopefully you will begin to see sparks of hope for your future...

Hugs... Pamela

Friday, August 31, 2012

Labor Day weekend and doubts all over the place

August 31, 2012--  Labor Day Weekend and Doubts all over the place
Today I was at work and I was pondering over whether to send this or not and one of the mamas said she was in a funk... THEN I remembered that it is a HOLIDAY weekend. I HATE holidays! Holidays remind us distinctly what has changed irrepairably in our lives... I really like to spread pieces of sunshine but I also like to be real... ACTUALLY, I ONLY KNOW how to be REAL! So here it is.... It isn't totally sad, but I think it is real. What do ya'll think? Feedback is always appreciated... :)) You girls are much chattier in person... Just saying...

Tricia wrote me the following words recently. With her permission, I am sharing portions with all of you....

"I am still such a work in progress always wondering what GOD has in store for me... the next good bad or what terrifying thing will be coming my way. I try not to ask why, but the last week or so have been filled with "why" questions. Why are babies ripped from their mothers arms... why do dads have to pretend not to cry... and why do siblings have to learn at such a young age to understand death, when we as momma's can't understand it. I feel GOD tugging at me to do something... but what I don't know. It's not like I can fight Satan off or even understand myself. I just spoke to my cousin tonight and he told me of a employee of his who has a baby in the hospital right now as i am typing this that isnt expected to make through the night. My heart just aches for those parents.... Not sure really why I am ranting other then every week we hear of another mother we could add to our group. The numbers are staggering-- so many in pain. I hope we can help them to know they WILL survive but by GOD it will be the hardest thing they will ever have to do!!! I pray for all the momma's daily and for you and I but especially you... that the words will come. That we can all be an example of survival and demonstrate that life does go on after losing a child... To have a meaningful happy life"

Doubt and insecurity clouds all of our minds. Fear of tomorrow and of the NEXT bad thing happening. We hovering over our children and others and worry worry worry. Frustration often fills our thoughts...

Losing our babies is NOT NORMAL but these reactions ARE natural during this horrible crappy process called grief!!! BLAHHHHHHH. It makes me rip out my ugly word vocabulary!!

This TOO shall pass eventually.... It is a SEASON in our life. An important season with MUCH to learn.

I may sound happy and chipper-- and I AM most of the time now-- but I'm not going to lie, I have my moments of deep reflection. It's different now because I know that I'm not going to be "down" as long... Or go as "deep" as before in sorrow. See--- sorrow doesn't scare me at all! It isn't part of my daily life at all now. Slowly the daily sorrow WILL lift!! Slowly. With your grief work....

I thank Tricia for her daily prayers as all of you do! My words aren't special! I just say what I think and have experienced (both as a previous hospice nurse and as a mother who was thrown into the depths of grief unexpectedly)... Right or wrong. Correct me when I'm wrong, girlie girls!!

I've actually struggled with starting this mamas group. I've struggled with even writing to mamas. WHAT do I have to say of VALUE?! I read and reread the words that I write. I just want to be REAL! I'm not a sugar coater of anything in life... But it's my desire to show others little sparks of light in the darkness. Also... To let them know the pitfalls so they can avoid them. God knows that my family has hit most of those stinking pitfalls!! I NEVER want to misdirect anyone and as a disclaimer I state... This ain't counseling and I ain't no counselor! :). Seriously.... The purpose of this group is to SUPPORT each OTHER. To lead and guide new mamas as they are walking scared, frightened, and feeling alone.... Counseling is an important part of your healing. It was an important part of MINE!
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On a very serious note...
Thinking of Nora and her family tomorrow during Nathan's burial... Hugs to you dear friend as you have waited a long long 105 days for this to happen. I'll be there my friend... I wonder what is most appropriate, the rain or the sunshine? Hmmmm
Hang in there ladybugs! Put those feet on the floor this weekend but also allow some time to rest of your body as well. Don't be afraid of those memories of the past. Wrap yourself up in them...

I'm always here.... (hey! I don't have a social life! Really I don't... The sad pitiful truth!! Text any time).

Pamela

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