Welcome to Hope for Grieving Mothers

If you are new to this club (that no one asked to join- the one where your child has died), it is best to start by going to the BOTTOM RIGHT and look at the "Pages" section. Under this section you will find resources for mothers who are grieving the loss of their child. Resources to help your children deal with grief are also grouped together.

Next, feel free to look at the "Blog Archives." There are many topics that you may have an interest in reading. As you girlies know, we now have Teflon brains and often cannot have the focus power that we have had in the past. Feel free to come here often and hopefully you will FEEL the loving support that me and other mamas are sending. Hopefully you will begin to see sparks of hope for your future...

Hugs... Pamela

Wednesday, January 2, 2013

Welcome to 2013!

January 2, 2013---  Welcome to 2013!

Here we are! Made it through Christmas! Who woulda thunk it?!!

The hype leading to Christmas will often lead to a "let down" after Christmas. I heard this on KLOVE today... How children and grown-up people are often let down after the hype of Christmas.

Didn't we see perfect Christmas china on tv? What about funny banter between family members about gifts? Yep... These people have no idea.... "Real Christmas" is reality.... Happiness combined with pain and sorrow and loss.
Until you've faced the horrific act of burying a child, you have no idea of the complexity of emotions that are there. Girlies... Just smile and know that you know the secret to life.... That youve been through Hell on earth but through Christ there is eternity.
I found this on the National Alliance for Grieving Children's Facebook Page
New Year Resolutions for those who are grieving the loss of a loved one. Hoping 2013 brings us all peace and joy.
This year I resolve...
~That I will grieve as much, and for as long, as I feel like grieving, and that I will not let others put a time table on my grief.
~That I will grieve in whatever way I feel like grieving, and I will ignore those who try to tell me what I should or should not be feeling and how I should or should not be behaving.
~That I will cry whenever and wherever I feel like crying, and that I will not hold back my tears just because someone else feels I should be "brave" or "getting better" or "healing by now."
~That I will talk about my loved one as often as I want to, and that I will not let others turn me off just because they can't deal with their own feelings.
~That I will not expect family and friends to know how I feel, understanding that one who has not lost a loved one to suicide cannot possibly know how it feels.
~That I will not blame myself for my loved one's death, and that I will constantly remind myself that I did the best job I could possibly have done. But when feelings of guilt are overwhelming, I will remind myself that this is a normal part of the grief process and it, too, will pass.
~That I will commune with my loved one at least once a day in whatever way feels comfortable and natural to me, and that I won't feel compelled to explain this communion to others or to justify or even discuss it with them.
~That I will try to eat, sleep, and exercise every day in order to give my body the strength it will need to help me cope with my grief.
~To know that I am not losing my mind, and I will remind myself that loss of memory, feelings of disorientation, lack of energy, and a sense of vulnerability are all normal parts of the grief process.
~To know that I will heal, even though it may take a long time.
~To let myself heal and not to feel guilty about feeling better.
~To remind myself that the grief process is circuitous - that is, I will not make steady upward progress. And when I find myself slipping back into the old moods of despair and depression, I will tell myself that 'slipping backward" is also a normal part of the grief process and these moods, too, will pass.
~To try to be happy about something for some part of every day, knowing that at first, I may have to force myself to think cheerful thoughts, so eventually they may become a habit.
~That I will reach out at times, and try to help someone else, knowing that helping others will help me to get over my depression.
~That even though my loved one is dead, I will opt for life, knowing that is what he/she would want me to do.
Author Unknown, Adapted by Nancy A. Mower

3 comments:

  1. This reminds me of my poem *Don't tell me* I am so happy that you got this going. Everyone can share our love now. Like us mamas say, "we are bonded in a way no one wants to be, but we love each other in our group" this is gonna be awesome!

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  2. Just heard The Dance by Garth Brooks .. I thank God for letting me have The Dance, of course I broke diown in tears but I am thankfull

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  3. Thank you for this post. I look forward to reading more of your writings!

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