Welcome to Hope for Grieving Mothers

If you are new to this club (that no one asked to join- the one where your child has died), it is best to start by going to the BOTTOM RIGHT and look at the "Pages" section. Under this section you will find resources for mothers who are grieving the loss of their child. Resources to help your children deal with grief are also grouped together.

Next, feel free to look at the "Blog Archives." There are many topics that you may have an interest in reading. As you girlies know, we now have Teflon brains and often cannot have the focus power that we have had in the past. Feel free to come here often and hopefully you will FEEL the loving support that me and other mamas are sending. Hopefully you will begin to see sparks of hope for your future...

Hugs... Pamela

Sunday, November 25, 2012

Surprise...


November 25, 2012-- Surprise...

So Thursday a wonderful thing happened to my family. My first official
grandchild was born in Bristol Tennessee. My son and daughter in law
invited me and Audrey's mom into the delivery room. It was a great
time of celebration with my son. I cried tears of joy but mostly
because my son had embraced my presence. After all of these tears of
joy and elation, Laurie and I went back to my sons home. I started to
crawl in bed and noticed a beautiful picture of Wesley and my son
Logan when Wes was ten and Logan was six. Wes had his arms around him
in the picture. Immediately I felt my breath knocked out of me when I
saw this photo. This came out of the blue...

After five years, I know my pitfalls of when I'm going to feel great
emotion and sorrow. What I'm discovering is that the greatest emotion
comes when surprised and caught off guard. One grieving parent that
is a few years ahead of me has said- EVERYONE misses him on his
birthday and the holidays and the anniversary. I miss him EVERYDAY. In
fact, this person is a little resentful that the others carve time out
of these days to remember him then. He's worthy of being remembered
every day.

I understand this perspective but on Thursday when I saw that photo, I
grieved something I had not yet grieved. I grieved the fact that Logan
wouldn't be an active uncle. He loved children and would have been an
excellent uncle - as excited as any member of our family that Elly has
expanded our family in a new way.

The lesson from this is whenever we have something NEW to grieve it
will be a NEW grief. Fresh. Is this bad?! No! Not at all. It FELT
bad at the time. I was embarrassed and concerned that the other new
grandma would hear me upstairs. Even if I could have stopped the
tears, I'm glad I had them. I RECOGNIZED that Logan was tremendously
missed.... On that very day of Ellyanna Grace's birth. I'm finally
reconciled to missing him every day. I am NOT reconciled to this new
loss of Logan's absence as an uncle.

The difference in this grief now is that it didn't ruin the joy that
is around me.

The day was STILL incredible and filled with unwavering joy as I
watched my son Wesley become a daddy and my daughter in law Audrey
become a mommy. As I watched them become a FAMILY.

Hugs to all of my mama friends....
Pamela Parker

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