Welcome to Hope for Grieving Mothers

If you are new to this club (that no one asked to join- the one where your child has died), it is best to start by going to the BOTTOM RIGHT and look at the "Pages" section. Under this section you will find resources for mothers who are grieving the loss of their child. Resources to help your children deal with grief are also grouped together.

Next, feel free to look at the "Blog Archives." There are many topics that you may have an interest in reading. As you girlies know, we now have Teflon brains and often cannot have the focus power that we have had in the past. Feel free to come here often and hopefully you will FEEL the loving support that me and other mamas are sending. Hopefully you will begin to see sparks of hope for your future...

Hugs... Pamela

Friday, March 15, 2013

Remembrances of the weekend

This last weekend I made the journey to Tennessee to see my new little granddaughter. My oldest son lives in Tennessee with his wife and baby... and my middle son is buried in Tennessee as well.

Because Logan was buried in my ex husbands family cemetery, I haven't been there in over three years. I oozed of thoughts of Logan much of the weekend. As I drove home, I realized that I should write down all of the things that made me remember Logan this last weekend. When I write these things down, it helps me. It's ok to miss Logan. It doesn't feel great sometimes but that's fine too! He deserves to be remembered and even ached for at times. I am his MAMA after all! This is my personal example of how I remembered him this weekend.

Entering the state of Tennessee. Seeing and eating at a Cracker Barrel. That's where we took Logan to eat the night before he died. Country fried steak, mashed potatoes and gravy and fried okra. Listening to music and hearing a few certain songs. Passing by East town mall and remembering a "where's mom incident" that is now humorous to our family. Remembering the wonderful friends and family that followed us to Tennessee when we buried him. Remembering the bizarre Tennessee customs of burial. Passing the Kentucky bourbon signs on the way. The rock that hit my windshield reminded me that one of the vehicles we drove to the funeral had a rock hit the windshield On the trip.

See... Several of these happened when Logan was alive. Some happened after his death and during the trauma of his death. Sadly, I suppose his life is still intertwined in his death in my mind. My thoughts and eventual goal is that the trauma of his death is just a shadow of remembrance and his life is much more emphasized when I think of him.

I am a firm believer in "Therapeutic Journaling." This is a different type of journaling than you have EVER done. You know those thoughts that run away in your head and repeat themselves? Sometimes they change and sometimes they stay too long. Regardless, type these thoughts down and actually put true words to them and then send them away to an email address. I created a "free" gmail address with the specific purpose of holding these thoughts.

There are several bonuses that you will receive when therapeutic journaling:

-Putting real words to crazy feelings and thoughts.

-Releasing it by sending it away to the big computer in the sky.

-Reading it a year later and thinking- wow! I don't feel like I've made any progress but I suppose I have.

I challenge each of you to write down what makes you think of your child in a therapeutic journaling manner. Hugs to each of you as you enter the weekend.

Pamela
Holeheartedmamas@gmail.com

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