Welcome to Hope for Grieving Mothers

If you are new to this club (that no one asked to join- the one where your child has died), it is best to start by going to the BOTTOM RIGHT and look at the "Pages" section. Under this section you will find resources for mothers who are grieving the loss of their child. Resources to help your children deal with grief are also grouped together.

Next, feel free to look at the "Blog Archives." There are many topics that you may have an interest in reading. As you girlies know, we now have Teflon brains and often cannot have the focus power that we have had in the past. Feel free to come here often and hopefully you will FEEL the loving support that me and other mamas are sending. Hopefully you will begin to see sparks of hope for your future...

Hugs... Pamela

Saturday, April 20, 2013

Michelle's perspective.

When we begin a journey, we want to know the destination. This is especially true for those who are walking the journey through grief. Often people ask where they will be in a few years. How will life look then? How will they react to trauma and drama? How will this change everything in their future? This is journal entry from my friend Michelle. With her permission, I am sharing this with you so you can see one positive and possible destination as you work through your grief and redefine normal. One thing is certain, where you are now, you will not always be.

Thanks Michelle!!  Pamela :)

From Michelle...

Today my seventeen year old son Matt is preparing to attend his first prom.  Energy is high.  Flowers are ready. Tux is in the closet.  He has showered and shaved without complaint or prodding.  He’s happy and I’m happy for him.  And yet….there’s something missing.  My thoughts drift to my daughter, Samantha. She was born eighteen years ago.  She died of SIDS when she was eight weeks old.  She’s not going to prom.
Time.  It’s a funny thing.  I used to dread milestones like this; always unsure how I would cope: mild sadness and still functional versus total meltdown, shutting the world out, alone in my room.  Unpredictable.  Today I’m good; reflectful mostly.  While ironing a shirt I started to wonder, “What is it really about these moments?  Why are birthdays and rites of passage so important?  And therefore, so painful to miss?” 
They bring joy and happiness. Birthdays-presents-activities. Seeing a smile.  Hearing laughter.  Receiving a hug.  But what motivates us?  Simple really.  LOVE.  I love my son and so many of my actions are an extension of that.  Same holds true for my daughter.  I’m motivated by love.  Even though I may not be shopping for a prom dress, I still love her.  When I dig deeper I discover it’s not the shopping and prom that matters.  It’s the love. That realization, that awareness, is the biggest gift of healing. LOVE NEVER GOES AWAY. Not one little bit.  
So, I as watch several prom couples around town and see smiling faces, I’ll think of Samantha.  The love I have for her.  And I’ll smile.

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