Welcome to Hope for Grieving Mothers

If you are new to this club (that no one asked to join- the one where your child has died), it is best to start by going to the BOTTOM RIGHT and look at the "Pages" section. Under this section you will find resources for mothers who are grieving the loss of their child. Resources to help your children deal with grief are also grouped together.

Next, feel free to look at the "Blog Archives." There are many topics that you may have an interest in reading. As you girlies know, we now have Teflon brains and often cannot have the focus power that we have had in the past. Feel free to come here often and hopefully you will FEEL the loving support that me and other mamas are sending. Hopefully you will begin to see sparks of hope for your future...

Hugs... Pamela

Sunday, May 5, 2013

Mothers Day.... Just breatheeeee

I've been a writer for years... Privately. It helps me sort my thoughts. When looking back at what I've written -- I notice that in the past few years I am quiet during this time of year. This current rapid succession of holidays really smack me down. I often cannot find words to write that would encourage or support. Honestly, i just fade into the background as life occurs around me. People who know me personally have watched me tolerate holidays. I never dreamed that I would dread every holiday.

Why? After my son died, my family forever lost a "normal" sense of holidays. Then I divorced. My children scattered as they have grown up. It's painful to look at other families and know that just a few years ago we were playing games in the backyard and having barbecues. We were celebrating. We were celebrating with family and friends. We were celebrating life.

Now I fade into the background. I am happy that everyone is making plans. I am happy that families are enjoying each other. The more that I watch from afar at Facebook and in the media, the more it hurts.

One coping mechanism is quite simply...
Stay off of Facebook. All of the "happy" family posts make the changes in your life seem even more pronounced.

Another helpful plan is to quietly plan a way to recognize the blessings that you currently have. What are they? Your living children? Your family? This sounds rather horrific but briefly think- what if I lost another child or loved one? Yikes!! Take this time to appreciate those people who are here and celebrate these things. It isn't the "present" that we dreamed and desired but it is a present.

If you cant be with your loved ones, call and tell them that you love them. That you treasure them.

Whatever you do, just make a plan. As we approach Mother's Day I reflect on those years in which my family was cohesive. I'm not going to lie- It does make me feel sad because those previous years are gone but it does make me content that I have those memories. I cannot change the past but I can try to enjoy each breathing moment and make plans to have a better future.

Whatever you feel like doing on Mother's Day is your choice. No one can tell you what to do or what to feel on Mother's Day. Just remember- even if your child is no longer living, you are still a mother.

Blessings to all of my mama friends out there and all who are wandering through the fog of grief.

Pamela Parker