Welcome to Hope for Grieving Mothers

If you are new to this club (that no one asked to join- the one where your child has died), it is best to start by going to the BOTTOM RIGHT and look at the "Pages" section. Under this section you will find resources for mothers who are grieving the loss of their child. Resources to help your children deal with grief are also grouped together.

Next, feel free to look at the "Blog Archives." There are many topics that you may have an interest in reading. As you girlies know, we now have Teflon brains and often cannot have the focus power that we have had in the past. Feel free to come here often and hopefully you will FEEL the loving support that me and other mamas are sending. Hopefully you will begin to see sparks of hope for your future...

Hugs... Pamela

Sunday, October 6, 2013

You are not a tree--

If you do not like where you are- MOVE!  You are not a tree!  

Metaphorically speaking, this is an important decision for a grieving person. It happens at a snails pace but movement can occur. 

A few years ago I watched a powerful movie.  "We are Marshall" is a movie that was released in 2006. I am often bored by the game of football, as I am by many sports. (Any one who knows me will laugh at that statement!). Read the following description of the movie-

"When a plane crash claims the lives of members of the Marshall University football team and some of its fans, the team's new coach and his surviving players try to keep the football program alive. -- IMDb Plot: We Are Marshall (2006)"

WHY in the world should a grieving person watch this movie?!  Haven't you experienced enough tears and heard enough sad stories?!  Allow me to explain-  
THIS movie is really about moving forward THROUGH grief. HOW do we move forward?  Each one of us is different.  Our time tables are different as well.  I will tell you that my main thought early in grief- "I don't wanna be in THIS place forever."  I embraced the words, "grieving forward."  Only with doing your grief work will you truly move through your grief.... To a new place. 

Movie quote-- "Grief is messy. It makes you do things you regret. Things you'll always regret."  

I know many many mamas now who are in various places in the continuum of grief. I want each of you to examine where you are and what you are doing to work through your grief. I do not want you to be saddled with lifelong regrets. 

YOU didn't ask to be in this place in your life. You DO have choices during grief as to whether you choose to become too comfortable sitting beside the headstone of your dead child frequently...  or whether you are willing to eventually REALLY join life again. There is a time and place for grieving but there is also a time and place to TRY to move forward. 

This website is "hope for grieving mothers."   With this website, I try to show you that there IS hope for your future, but the decision to slowly move towards healing is yours. 

Alternatives- your children WILL resent you and you WILL lose precious connection with your spouse. Plus- you will MISS the precious days of LIFE!!!  The significant opportunities to honor your child. I have many regrets myself...

"We are Marshall" is sad-- but each of us knows sadness-- but MOST importantly, it shows how grieving folks TRY to grieve forward. Please girls...  Please TRY to keep moving forward. 

Please TRY to HONOR your deceased child by choosing to LIVE and by SEEKING joy. True joy. It is possible. This is not quick nor is it easy, but eventually possible.... But only if YOU desire it. 

Consider this thought-- How have you honored your deceased child this weekend with your actions?

Hugs to each of you as you hopefully make the conscious decision to "grieve forward". Be brave enough to NOT be a tree. :)

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