By request, I am sharing an article that I wrote two years ago. Mother's Day is hard and unexpected emotions can pop up and surprise us. This is an experience that many people feel on Mother's Day. One mama friend explained to me earlier this week, "this was MY holiday. This is the hardest one."
It's the big Mother's Day today. I drove to Louisiana yesterday to be with my mother for this day.
So here I sit... Outside of the big church while my parents are inside. Sitting on a brick planter with tears gently flowing. What happened? Please allow me to back up...
I came to church with my mother and father. Apparently it's graduation celebration day-- which is exciting for those participating. Then the pastor asked all of the mothers to stand. By this time, I was becoming a little hesitant, but I stood. He spoke beautiful praises of mothers everywhere and what they mean to the world and families. (I have been one of those busy mothers who deserved to be honored.) Then everyone stood to sing.
Wow! Was this it? I began to feel great emotion as I realized how many people that I know who have ached and longed to have the opportunity to become a mother. Also, I know sadly many mamas whose arms and hearts ache because their infants have died. The list continues as I think of the many mothers who have lost children who lived to only be a small child, a teen, or even through adulthood. Girls- as you all know, a mama is a mama regardless of the age of her child. Now I'll add to the list the people who are missing their mothers as they do not have them earthly present to celebrate with.
That's one big list... The pastor, who I'm certain is a caring Godly man, neglected to address these hurting people. As a mother who is trying to redefine normal in my own life, I felt overwhelmed as I realized that this attitude is what is socially accepted by society. I have spoken to more grieving mothers than I care to count-- this is what I call "taking the casserole" mentality... I brought the casserole. Went to the funeral. Sent a card. Now what's the problem? Are you still feeling sad? I did MY part. (I do not really believe that this pastor nor everyone believes this totally but to some degree, the fact that grief is a process and not event is not yet fully accepted by most.)
The truth is-- People learn when they are seasoned with life and experiences.
A couple of years ago- I remember hearing the pastor at the mega church that I attend FIRST mention the hurting that many feel around holidays. THAT was comforting.
So here I sit in the bright sunlight--outside of this church-- on a brick planter-- but yet the breeze of the gentle wind is too chilly to feel any warmth... Despite the sun on my skin.
Now church is letting out and I'm faced with seeing people with my embarrassment. Sigh.
"He floods the darkness with light; he brings light to the deepest gloom." Job 12:22NLT
Hold tight onto these Truths that our Heavenly Father has sent to us... Much love to each of you who are walking through the journey of grief.