Halloween was one of the first holidays after Logan died. I always enjoyed family time, but this holiday was especially painful. Fortunately, this sensitivity that I felt towards Halloween has dulled. These are my thoughts from many years ago:
As I flip through the television channels, the programming is filled with Halloween themed movies and horror flicks.
When Logan died, I was sickened when my neighbor put up a pretend "graveyard" in their front yard. I remember my exhusband saying, "so we must look at THIS for a month?!y stomach churned every time I saw that fake little graveyard.
Seeing graveyards - cemeteries- are not funny or spooky to us. They unfortunately have become part of our lives and those ridiculous "RIP" fake headstones can be insulting. I could find no humor in a fake graveyard. It made my stomach churn.
Stop for just a minute... Until your child died, you probably didn't HATE Halloween or the silly haunted houses. Unless they have experienced the loss and tragedy that we've experienced, they will not understand that death isn't funny. Be patient sisters... It's almost over. It's ok to not pass out candy but i challenge you to also remember the joy of the little sweeties that say "trick or treat".
The complexity of our feelings FEW will understand. Certainly we are thankful that everyone does not know the pain of losing a child and visiting cemeteries and becoming so intimately familiar with death and grief.
Hang in there girls.... Halloween is almost over. Focus on the beauty of the colors and beauty of the leaves as autumn demonstrates it's glory.