Welcome to Hope for Grieving Mothers

If you are new to this club (that no one asked to join- the one where your child has died), it is best to start by going to the BOTTOM RIGHT and look at the "Pages" section. Under this section you will find resources for mothers who are grieving the loss of their child. Resources to help your children deal with grief are also grouped together.

Next, feel free to look at the "Blog Archives." There are many topics that you may have an interest in reading. As you girlies know, we now have Teflon brains and often cannot have the focus power that we have had in the past. Feel free to come here often and hopefully you will FEEL the loving support that me and other mamas are sending. Hopefully you will begin to see sparks of hope for your future...

Hugs... Pamela

Saturday, November 28, 2015

The Christmas tree is up...

Today I was brave. I pulled out my Christmas tree and decorated it with my (now adult) children's handmade ornaments. I found a tucked away treasure from Logan.  My stomach was queasy and I thought I might even throw up. Still, I needed to do this. 

This is my second attempt at Christmas. Last year, after many years of "skipping Christmas", I decided to put up a tree. Why?  I didn't wanna be "nana Scrooge" to my grand babies. Two close friends came to my house and walked me through the painful task of sorting through Christmas decorations and ornaments.  They listened to me curse the holidays and cried with me as I sat on the floor weeping. 

Christmas used to be different. I made ornaments for coworkers, candy and cookies with my children, and created memories by reading the Advent Book. I was the typical American mom. That was before...

Then Logan died. We created many special things that first year or two, and then the next wave of secondary losses began to occur. 

For five years I avoided Christmas...At least I tried. 

Today I had an "ah ha moment." I sat and listened to my pregnant daughter tell her husband about her favorite Christmas memories.  "Remember those candies that you made that we all loved?" I smiled as I listened to her reminisce. My daughter explained "we paused Christmas for a few years."  

Today is no longer about the child and brother that was lost and the painful memories of a family's future that was irrevocably changed. 

Today we turned the page.

My children deserve this new era of creating new memories... with husbands and babies and laughter and Santa.  My children deserve this new era- This new era of Christmas future.