This has been a devastating weekend for our local Indiana community. In one accident, four young people slipped away quickly. This is tragic and had shocked any of us.
I have several close friends who have lost loved ones very publicly. What do we do? What do we say?
Read these very insightful words written by my teenage friend Alli. Alli's brother Garrett was suddenly ripped from her family's life a few years ago. I am so very proud of her as she has worked very hard to deal with the challenges that were suddenly tossed in front of her.
Allie has a solid grasp on knowledge that we can ALL use.... The top ten things Not to say! I honor Alli for who she is and how she has been redefining normal in her life!
Hugs to Alli and each of you!
Time heals everything
Your loved one is in a better place
I know how you feel
Everything will be okay
It all happened for the best
It's time to put this behind you
At least he or she didn't suffer
That is my top 10 list of things that I hate to hear. A lot of people do not know what to say when someone close to you dies. It's hard for teenagers to hear these things. My brother past away when I was 13 and he was 17. There are a lot of things people told me that I did not want to hear and it hurt me to have people saying them to me.
The one thing I heard the most is that time heals everything. I have to say that time does not heal everything. My brother passed away on June 23, 2010. It's been 3 years since the accident and time does NOT heal everything. The past 3 years have been the hardest years of my life.
In these last 3 years I have learned more about myself then I ever have before.
Time does not heal everything but time DOES make things easier. In the last few months I have been learning what my new life looks like without my brother. Redefining a normal life without one your loved one can be really hard and a lot of work, but it is possible.
When someone tells you, "It's time to put this behind you," it's hard to hear. When you are ready to move on then you will. Don't let other people make that decision for you. You will never completely move on, but you will learn how to cope with the loss of your loved one.
I want other teenagers who have lost a loved one to know that they are not alone in this long grieving journey and that no one has the right to tell you what you should be feeling.