Next to my fireplace are three decorative boxes. They have been inconspicuously holding the notes, cards, and "other memorabilia" of Logan's death. Because these boxes are now over 10 years old and are looking ratty, I recently picked up three new decorative boxes. I have been procrastinating this little project of sorting through the "other memorabilia". It was the "other memorabilia" that can make me anxious. Logan's death certificate, his birth certificate, and remembrances of his funeral are all stark reminders that he had been painfully ripped from our lives on this earth.
Yesterday was the day. I sat in the middle of my living room floor and emptied out the contents of these boxes. As I began to sort, I smiled as I read the cards and letters from long time friends and family. I began to feel the comfort and love that had been sent to our family in those early painful and foggy days. Additionally, I was reminded that a few special people continued to send us cards throughout that first year. One lovely lady sent cards for each of the "first" holidays- she had also lost a child many many years ago.
There was comfort inside each and every card. Some of the cards were simple and some of these cards were elaborate. Some of the cards had entire letters of encouragement written inside and some only had the senders name. The comfort did not come from the carefully worded or elaborate verbiage in the cards. Instead, it came from the fact that friends and strangers took time out of their busy lives to share our sorrow and send us love. I especially treasured the notes where the sender had shared their favorite fun memories of Logan's life. The common theme in these cards is that the sender cared for our family and shared a thread of our sorrow as they were also deeply saddened for our loss... for Logan’s death.
As I opened up the boxes of memories, I was relieved when I did not experience the feeling of anxiety and sorrow. I did not relive the angst of the trauma and drama of Logan’s death. Yesterday I moved the contents of the ratty boxes to their new home. I was able to relax, breathe, and smile as I sorted through these cards. These cards are tangible remnants of love, support, and empathy from the senders. The prayers of comfort that we received so long ago were answered again today when LOVE over powered.
Side note and Tip- When opening each card, I cut off the return address from the envelope and taped these onto the back of the card. This made the cards more accessible to read and reread and eliminated the bulk of the envelopes.