Welcome to Hope for Grieving Mothers

If you are new to this club (that no one asked to join- the one where your child has died), it is best to start by going to the BOTTOM RIGHT and look at the "Pages" section. Under this section you will find resources for mothers who are grieving the loss of their child. Resources to help your children deal with grief are also grouped together.

Next, feel free to look at the "Blog Archives." There are many topics that you may have an interest in reading. As you girlies know, we now have Teflon brains and often cannot have the focus power that we have had in the past. Feel free to come here often and hopefully you will FEEL the loving support that me and other mamas are sending. Hopefully you will begin to see sparks of hope for your future...

Hugs... Pamela

Sunday, May 12, 2019

Mother’s Day 2019

By request, I am sharing my thoughts from a few years ago. Mother's Day is hard for most people and unexpected emotions can pop up and surprise us. This is an experience that many people feel on Mother's Day. One mama friend explained to me earlier this week, "this was MY holiday. This is the hardest one."  

It's the big Mother's Day today. I drove to Louisiana yesterday to be with my mother for this day. 

So here I sit... Outside of the big fancy church while my parents are inside. Sitting on a brick planter with tears gently flowing. What happened? Please allow me to explain... 

I went to church with my mother and father. Apparently it is graduation celebration day-- which is exciting for those who are participating. Then the pastor asked for all of the mothers to stand.  By this time, I was feeling hesitant, but I stood. He spoke beautiful praises of mothers everywhere and of what they mean to the world and to their families. Then he asked for everyone to stand and sing. 

Wow! Was this it? This was the end of his comments about Mother’s Day?!  I began to feel great emotion as I realized how many people who I know who have ached and longed to have the opportunity to become a mother. Also, I sadly know many mamas whose arms and hearts ache because their infants have died. The list continues as I think of the many mothers who have lost children who lived to only be a small child, a teen, or even through adulthood. Girls- as you all know, a mama is a mama regardless of the age of her child. Now I will add to the list the people who are missing their mothers as they do not have them earthly present to celebrate with. 

That is one big list... The pastor, who I am certain is a caring Godly man, neglected to address these hurting people. As a mother who is trying to redefine normal in my own life, I felt overwhelmed as I realized that this attitude is what is socially accepted by society. I have spoken to more grieving mothers than I care to count-- this is what I call "taking the casserole" mentality... I brought the casserole. Went to the funeral. Sent a card. Now what is the problem? Are you still feeling sad? I did MY part. (I do not really believe that this pastor nor everyone believes this totally but to some degree The fact that grief is a process and not just an event is not yet fully accepted by most.) 

The truth is-- People learn when they are seasoned with life and experiences. 

A couple of years ago- I remember hearing the pastor at the mega church that I attend FIRST mention the hurting that many feel around holidays. THAT was comforting. 

So here I sit in the bright sunlight--outside of this big fancy church.  Sitting on a brick planter... but yet the breeze of the gentle wind is too chilly to feel any warmth... Despite the sun on my skin.

Now church is letting out and I am embarrassed that I was overcome with these thoughts and walked out of church.  Embarrassed. Sigh. 

"He floods the darkness with light; he brings light to the deepest gloom." Job 12:22NLT 

Hold tight onto these Truths that our Heavenly Father has sent to us... Much love to each of you who are walking through the journey of grief. 

Pamela Parker 

Holeheartedmamas@gmail.com