Welcome to Hope for Grieving Mothers

If you are new to this club (that no one asked to join- the one where your child has died), it is best to start by going to the BOTTOM RIGHT and look at the "Pages" section. Under this section you will find resources for mothers who are grieving the loss of their child. Resources to help your children deal with grief are also grouped together.

Next, feel free to look at the "Blog Archives." There are many topics that you may have an interest in reading. As you girlies know, we now have Teflon brains and often cannot have the focus power that we have had in the past. Feel free to come here often and hopefully you will FEEL the loving support that me and other mamas are sending. Hopefully you will begin to see sparks of hope for your future...

Hugs... Pamela

How many children DO I have?!?

How many children do I HAVE?! 
This is a dreaded question that we are faced with. It made me nauseated and anxious early on when I had to ponder over exactly how to answer this question.

Because I work as a nurse in a hospital, patients often ask me "how many children do you have?"  I say THREE!  I do have three but one is no longer on this earth with me. (I keep this part to myself) Although I had initially practiced this answer, I remember the first time that question was posed to me and how I was paralyzed.

This is my philosophy. I gave birth to three children. My middle son is the only child born c-section. I find a bit of irony with this....  At times I can look at that scar on my tummy and remember that he WAS  here.... he was born and lived and breathed here.

Because Heaven is a real place, Logan now is there after he died.

This is the reason that I have three children.... Because I DO have three children. One day we will all be together but for now, there is that separation.

Then when people say- what are their ages?  "Oh, my oldest son is 26 and my youngest daughter is 19."  On occasion I will have people push just a bit more-- "how old is your other child?"  I typically respond "Logan died at the age of 17 five years ago". Then I must watch the sorrow and horror on their face.  I say "hey!  It's ok!  It's new to you but not new to me."  I really do not desire to have this discussion with people with whom I have casually met.

The one time that I stated "Two children", I felt as though I had betrayed Logan and was dishonest. I personally cannot say that again.

Everyone has a different viewpoint on this. Think about it and practice the answer.... Yes!  practice SAYING the answer. That's my tip on this touchy subject.

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